The 5 Mile Journey Through Sage’s Mind | 3rd Mile: Insecurity

Welcome to the beginning of a great week. October is finally at its end… Christmas is here!! I hope we’ve all enjoyed the journey through Sage’s mind and have learnt some valuable lessons along the way. It’s now time to make a pit-stop at the 3rd Mile, insecurity.

I was watching a comedy movie recently that focused on four different women and the theme of friendship and the journey friends go through as they got older and priorities changed. One of the stand-out moments was when one of the characters, had to constantly reassure herself that she was beautiful, strong and all. This was a woman that had written a bestseller titled: “You can have it all’’ but wasn’t actually having it all and had to deal with a cheating husband and infertility issues. Imagine how her world came crumbling down when, as is always the case, the mistress got pregnant, imagine the insecurities she would have felt. 

At different points in life, people have had to deal with various levels of insecurity. It could be either physical (I’m not beautiful enough; I’m too fat) to emotional (my parents think I’m worthless; if I don’t have sex with him, he’ll leave me). Do any of these statements sound familiar? One of the things that have struck me the most in my journey through life is the number of beautiful girls I’ve met and finding out the number of insecurities they deal with. Don’t get me wrong, guys also deal with insecurities. That’s why you see guys going to extreme lengths to please their partner, believing that without money, they can’t satisfy their partner and have a happy and strong marriage. 

I have also dealt with insecurities at different points in my life. Growing up as an only child, my major fear which then became an insecurity of mine was the feeling of been alone. Believing that I needed multiple relationships to be able to be happy and have a sense of belonging, a sense of being needed by someone. Even when it was to my own detriment, I would make myself available for my partner and take emotional abuses I had no business with. So yes, I have had my share of insecurity. I just got so good at covering it up with a mask of self-assuredness and over-confidence until one day, the mask fell off.

By allowing these feelings of insecurity take over our mind, we give the devil a foothold (Eph. 4:27) in our lives from which he can begin his mission to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10). Before long, he builds a stronghold in our mind (II Cor. 10:4-5) and from there begins to wage war against our lives and attack our identity in order that we may not be all God has called us to be. But rest assured, you are stronger than those insecurities (I Cor. 10:13) and if you are facing them, it is because God already knows that you can defeat them. So, what do you do when dealing with insecurity?

Overcoming Insecurity

• Know your worth (Gen. 1:27)
• Know your identity (I John 3:1)
• Constantly remind yourself of who you are in Christ: a chosen generation, a royal priesthood (I Pet. 2:9)
• Believe that eventually you shall overcome (Rom 8:18, 8:37)
• Remind yourself that you have the strength (Phil 4:13)
• Remind yourself, that all you need is God (II Peter 1:3-8)

Let us hear the conclusion of the matter (like Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 😊): 

1. Young King, know your worth. God created you with a purpose in mind. You are fearfully and wonderfully created.
2. Young Queen, know your worth. No one can make you feel less than you are! No one has the power to make you feel worthless. 

As we go into this new week, the charge is to not be conformed to this world but to transform our mind by constantly renewing it (Romans 12:2) and in doing so, equip ourselves with the armour of God in order to stand (Eph. 6:11-17) and let God pull down the strongholds in our minds. How? Feed on the word of God every single day and night. Search for the word that speaks to that insecurity that you are experiencing. Trust me, you are not the first to experience it and there is a word for that insecurity.

Stay strong. Stay beautiful. Stay slaying. Stay purposeful. Stay secure in the knowledge of who you are: sons and daughters of God!

Sage

Photo Credit: https://pics.me.me

The 5 Mile Journey Through Sage’s Mind | 2nd Mile: Bad News, Disappointment & Failure

Welcome to a new week! Nothing like a new week, right? It represents the opportunity to do things afresh, set new targets, make up for the past week and more. My own is that Christmas is already here. Last week, we dealt with a very sensitive topic called Depression, still didn’t send it to my mum lol. You won’t believe the back to back experiences that have happened to me over the last couple of weeks but as the bible says: tomorrow never dies (Romans 8:18) lol. On to the issue for the week: Bad news, disappointment and failure.

This 2nd Mile is actually a very important mile because it reminds me of a popular place in Lagos, Mile 2 (Mile 2, Mile 2, Orile!). Bad news, disappointment and failure are one of those things in life that seem to come like a triple combo and they tend to come when you least expect them. Ever heard that saying that good things come in three's? Well bad things also come in three's. So, there you are living life at a relaxed place, telling yourself that it’ll be alright eventually, the breakthrough is near. That life isn’t that bad, and your luck is about to turn and BAM! life knocks you flat down.

First, comes the bad news: "we regret to inform you that your application" (if you’ve been in the labour market, you’ll understand this line); next comes the disappointment; this was your tenth rejection from many applications; then comes failure or the creeping sense of failure, whispering to you that there is no hope. Or to use another example, heart break, which is something a lot of people have experienced. You just settled into the routine, comfort and security of the relationship when your partner calls (that’s if they’re even nice enough and not just move on or send a text) at night to say: "I’m sorry, I can’t continue in this relationship" after you have given it your all and you saw that relationship as the last bus stop. These are familiar examples I believe we can relate to in one way or the other.
Even our famous heroes in the bible have in one way or the other dealt with these emotions; from Abraham to David all the way to John the Baptist and many other apostles. You think because John the Baptist baptised Jesus, he didn’t feel these emotions? 

John’s disciples told him about all these things. Calling two of them, he sent them to the Lord to ask, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?” When the men came to Jesus, they said, “John the Baptist sent us to you to ask, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?’ (Luke 7:18-20, NIV).

What do you think John would have been feeling when he sent his disciples to ask the person whom he baptised and heard a voice from heaven say: this is the one (Matt. 3:13-17)? What was his bad news? He was to be imprisoned. His disappointment? How can I have anointed the promised King and be in prison and go through this persecution. His sense of failure? That his life and works had no meaning and was for nothing. In trying to understand this, someone may have convinced him (“Bros J, it go make sense if one of your boys waka go meet Oga J to confirm say na Him be the one wey dem prophets dey yarn about”) or maybe he himself must have decided, let me send people to confirm that my life was not actually a failure. Which he did, as the bible points out. It shows us that even though he was the one that baptised Jesus, he still experienced these emotions.

This tells me that as human beings, there is nothing wrong in experiencing these emotions. One thing we must not do, which John did is to begin to doubt. Begin to allow fear (F- False, E- Evidence, A- Appearing, R- Real) to creep in to make us feel like failures and begin to allow ourselves to feel crushed by the circumstances. What we are meant to do as children of God is to adopt the attitude of Job in Job 13:15 and say ODESHI! (though he slay me, still I stand!). So, when we experience these emotions, suit up in the full armour of God, stand (Eph. 6:13), and have hope in Him who never fails or causes us to be crushed by our circumstances (II Cor. 4:8-9).

As we begin this new week, the charge is to suit up (Avengers Assemble, Iron man things), face all those situations (the bad news, disappointments, failures) and stand. Stand in faith and in the knowledge of who you are in Christ Jesus. See you next week as we journey on to the 3rd Mile; Insecurity.

Sage

P.S. Tried writing in the dark but oh boy, I needed the light and fan to cool my head after a long day.

Photo Credit: www.theodysseyonline.com

The 5 Mile Journey Through Sage’s Mind | 1st Mile: Depression

It’s been a while guys, just realised that it’s been almost a month since my last post. Don’t worry, I didn’t miss any of you. Mysses Lafunky has been so busy with her new life that she doesn’t have our time anymore but fear not, God has our time. Wa wa alright! So, for the last few days so many things have happened, that I barely had time to seek God’s face on what to write about. Then one day I was driving and the first rays of inspiration dropped on me. Took some extra days for the full expression of the inspiration. I was so excited that I jumped out of the bathroom to message Lafunky. So here we are by God’s special grace, a bond servant of His, sharing what I believe He has laid in my heart, a 5 Mile journey through the mind of Sage, starting with DEPRESSSION!

Have you ever felt depressed before? Like your life had no meaning or purpose to it? Ever heard the phrase: "Tears of a clown?" When taken literally, it means that even clowns are sad but hide their sadness behind the mask of a clown. Depression is a serious mental issue that unfortunately, a lot of people don’t take seriously and tell those going through it to pull themselves together. But it’s more serious than that and has ended up in the death of so many people around the world, celebrities and regular guys alike. One thing we must all know is that your status in life doesn’t exclude you from depression. The most dangerous part of it is that a lot of people don’t know that a family member or spouse of theirs is currently dealing or has dealt with depression. It’s at this point that I’ll get personal.

First of all, sorry Mama, you had to find out about this at the same time as the rest of the world. Just this year, it occurred to me that almost two decades ago, as a young boy, at different points in my young life, I contemplated the thought of suicide because I felt depressed. I even went as far as going into the kitchen, getting a knife to stab myself but somehow, I was never able to follow through it and neither did I ever tell a single person until almost two decades later when the memory sprang into my mind from nowhere. It was such a painful memory that I had subconsciously buried it in my mind and comfortably forgotten about it.
Even in the last two years, I contemplated suicide for various reasons as a result of my failure in different things that I held so dear to my heart.

There I was, a born again Christian thinking of different ways to kill myself, all because I felt depressed at something that I’d failed at. Therein lies the danger of depression. It isolates you and even when you are surrounded by people, you still feel like nobody gets you and that your life has no purpose. 

While thinking of this article, I kept searching for an example of someone in the bible that at some point would have felt depressed and one person came to mind. If I tell you, you won’t believe it. His name was Elijah. Yup! That Elijah! Mighty prophet Elijah! That had just won a great victory for God and then got threatened by a woman (truly, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned). Baba picked up his bags and baggage and ran like hell (I Kings 19:2-3). But wait, Elijah, didn’t you just win a great victory for God? (I Kings 18:22-40). Read it as your homework 😁. Immediately after that chapter, in the next chapter, this same man that had just won a great victory for God was asking God to kill him:

"But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he prayed that he might die, and said, 'It is enough! Now, LORD, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!'" I Kings‬ 19:4‬ NKJV‬‬‬‬

If you go back to Chapter 18 of the same book and also in Chapter 19, he kept saying the same thing, I’m the only one left! Sound familiar? Despite the fact that the nation had just given their lives to God. That is what happens when people experience depression, it paints the belief that you are the only one left; the only one that understands what’s going on and no one can help you. Then you begin to contemplate death as a solution, just like Elijah did. Just like I did. But we thank God that just like Elijah, I was rescued and countless others have been rescued (celebrities and regular people alike). 

How Do you Spot Depression?

1. Things that used to matter, no longer matter. 
2. Continuous state of sadness. 
3. Continually feeling alone in the world. 
4. Hopelessness. 
5. Believing that no one can help you get out of the situation, even God! 
6. Death is seen as the only rescue from the state of things. 

How To Overcome Depression 

1. Refuse to allow yourself wallow in sadness and self-pity. 
2. Reach out to a trusted loved one or counsellor. 
3. Be optimistic regardless of the circumstance. 
4. Surround yourself with love and care and allow them to penetrate your heart. Join a group or seek counselling from the right places e.g psychiatrists, Christian counselling groups etc. 
5. Have a lifestyle change in order to put an end to activities such as drugs and alcohol that promote the feeling of depression. Be active and open your heart to the beauty of the world and the people. 
6. Find a purpose in everything you do or set your mind to. 
7. Accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour and continue to remind yourself that God loves you exactly the way you are (Rom. 5:8, John 3:16). If you’re already a born again Christian, continually remind yourself that God loves you. 
8. Wake up everyday and remind yourself that you are a member of the chosen generation, a holy people (I Pet. 2:9) and that before you were formed, your almighty Father knew you (Jer. 1:5). 

As we go into this week, the charge is to wake up everyday thanking God for the gift of life and go out with a mission to accomplish, no matter how small or irrelevant you may feel it is in the grand scheme of things. R.I.P Robin Williams (your movies made people all over the world laugh till their ribs cracked) and Chester Bennington (your songs helped a lot of us during our times of depression, yet we couldn’t help you overcome yours). 

See you next week as we journey ahead to the 2nd Mile, Disappointments. 

Sage

P.S. You can add or remove from the list. This is based on my experience and as such may not be as exhaustive as you would like. 

P.P.S. Nigeria recently celebrated 57 year’s of independence and also qualified for the 2018 FIFA World Cup. 

P.P.P.S I may not send this post to my mum. She go dey alright lol 😄 

Photo Credit: http://villanuevam.ism-online.org and pintrest.co.uk