Sexual Purity in Courtship | Interview with The Beautified Woman, Funto Ibuoye

Hello Readers and Followers. Welcome to another real-life interview on Myss Lafunky's Blog.

This week, Sage (SG) interviews Funto Ibuoye (FI). Funto Ibuoye is the founder of The Beautified Network, a for-purpose initiative that is focused on enabling women discover and live in the fullness of their God given purposes.

SG: Tell us a little bit about yourself, your likes and dislikes, your Christian faith including your courtship. How you knew he was "the one", How long you courted for etc.

FI: I am Funto Ibuoye, beloved daughter of the Most High, wife to Akinade Ibuoye, mum to Gbolabo Ibuoye; I currently run The Beautified Network which is an initiative for young women and Five28 Interiors, an Interior Design outfit. 

I like chocolates and fried fish, I don't like cooking even though I have to cook; I got born again in October 2006 and it has been an amazing journey so far.

I met my husband in October 2012; we started dating July 2013 and got married November 2014. Courtship was interesting; we broke up once and got back together. I knew want I wanted in a man so when he came, he ticked off all my boxes and I just had this peace about him. 

SG: What does sexual purity mean to you? 

FI: Purity is about choosing to love God more than anything or anyone and because of this love it breaks your heart to want to do anything that breaks God’s heart. God is more concerned about our purity and virginity is a by-product of purity. When you choose purity, it’s only natural that you keep your virginity and in the case where you’re not a virgin, it’s only natural that you stay celibate till marriage. Purity is a lifestyle; a lifestyle of choosing to honour God with everything - mind, soul and body. So, sexual purity to me is about choosing to honour and obey God when it comes to sex and that means fleeing from sex outside marriage and keeping my marriage bed undefiled.

SG: Who made the decision to practice sexual purity when you courted and how did it go? 

FI: We did not exactly make a decision to practice sexual purity; long before we met each other, we had both separately entered into a covenant with God to stay pure until marriage and so keeping that covenant was something we were both committed to and we did by God’s grace.

SG: Were you tempted at all? If yes, how did you overcome it? Or did you not overcome it? 

FI: Of course we were tempted! But by God’s grace and being committed to keeping our covenant and God's instructions, we were able to pull through. One major thing that helped was that we had boundaries in place that helped us overcome, such as not staying in dark or lonely places, inviting friends to our activities at times just to ensure a third party is around; leaving the door to my room wide open if we had to stay in the room.

SG: Any regrets? 

FI: No regrets whatsoever!

SG: Do you have any tips to share with our readers (both singles/married) about staying sexually pure? Any tips on how to handle the pressure of becoming sexually active in the first few weeks of marriage? 

FI: For the newlyweds on handling pressure of becoming sexually active in the first few weeks of marriage, I would say take your time, relax, have fun exploring each other’s bodies, read good materials on sex and seek advice from a trusted Godly married person has been through the same phase you’re in and is open enough to share his/her experiences and help you through.  I realised that there was no point being pressured at all as pressure only makes your body tense which makes it difficult to have sex especially if you’re virgins.

For the married, our goal is not just to stay pure until marriage, we were never meant to lose our purity, as it’s not something that can be lost or given away like virginity. I did not stop being pure because I got married, in fact, marriage requires another level of purity- keeping the marriage bed undefiled. Not only can I not have sex with anyone asides from my husband, I cannot even imagine it.

For Singles, find different good activities that will keep your mind from being idle such as volunteering for events, attending personal development programs, focus on growing your relationship with God and above all, guard your heart; avoid anything- visual, video, music, anything at all that can excite your sexual appetite. If in a relationship, understand each other and set boundaries in place that will work for both of you.


SG: Thank you Funto for being part of our series. Tune in, same time next week as we round off the series on sexual purity during courtship. The awesome Mysses Lafunky and our editor, her husband, share their story with us on how they maintained sexual purity during the period of their courtship and practical steps on how to handle the pressure of staying pure. P.S. I'll be sharing some of the gist from their beautiful wedding, whether or not they give me the permission ☺

About Funto

Funto is a graduate of Accounting from Covenant University and a Chartered Accountant, Funto published her first book ‘Beautified’ in August 2013 and her second book- ‘The 31 Woman’ in July 2015.

She also runs Five28 Interiors, an Interior Design and Decoration company providing beautiful and luxury interiors for residential and commercial purposes.

Funto is passionate about nation building and helping women live up to their full potential. She strongly believes that the empowered woman is one of the greatest assets of a thriving society/nation.

Her life’s goal is to inspire women, both young and old to fulfil their greatness and live their best lives. She is married to fast rising Afro-fusion Artiste - Gaise and they are blessed with a son.

Follow her on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook @funtoibuoye or follow updates on the beautified blog – blog.beautified.com.ng

Photo Credit: http://www.kacheetee.com