Saved From Deception

Happy New Week Readers & Followers,

Myss Lafunky is continuing with the series on Christian platonic relationships, Christian courtship, sexual purity, setting the right boundaries in relationships, etc.  If you would like your story to be featured on the blog, please send your story to trulymakingadifference@gmail.com. Today's post is a story on being patient about making decisions about whom to be in a relationship with. Be blessed as you read.

I went for a job training a while back and met a certain guy who was very kind. At a point when I was ill, he was very caring buying me fruits and all. 

After I recovered from my illness, he started wooing me - calling me sweet names, sending text messages, calling like 10 times a day. I wondered why he was bombarding me since we see everyday at work. Also, I wasn't convinced that he was a good Christian, and since I just broke up from a relationship, I was very careful about going into another one without a direction from God. I also suspected that he was seeing another girl at work which he denied vehemently. I continued to avoid him and he continued to press for a relationship. There was a time he was almost crying. I told some of my colleagues at work who also confirmed that he was dating another girl at work, but he denied it. His friends (the guys who were also my colleagues) also started telling me that I was making their friend unhappy by not agreeing to a relationship. So, to cut to the chase, I stopped picking his calls, stopped replying his texts and I avoided him at work.

As it would happen, we had a social gathering at work which included an award ceremony. Guess what? The guy and the girl I suspected he was dating (whom he kept denying he was dating) got the award for the best couple at work. They danced so dirty that day, with him caressing her body so intimately.

I'm glad I wasn't deceived, but that was the height of wickedness and callousness anyone can show. Well, he continued to tell me he loved me, even after the award ceremony but I gave him the biggest warning of all time to never contact me again.

As the scripture says in Pro 3:6, trust the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding in making a sound decision. If you acknowledge Him, He'll surely direct your steps.

Photo Credit: http://henryjameskelly.tumblr.com/

Abstaining From SeX - A Man's Journey to Sexual Purity

Thanks to those that have sent their stories in for publication; you will receive your £10 Amazon E-voucher via your email. Please, click here for more information about the competition.

The below story was triggered by a campaign that was launched through Stella Eyunruntella Ashe, with the tag  "#I can wait" on Facebook. Stella has challenged the status quo by encouraging singles to stay chaste until marriage. You can find Stella's campaign on Facebook by searching for #I can wait.

I would like to thank the writer of today's post for allowing Myss Lafunky's blogspot to publish his story.

Abstaining From SeX
Abstaining from sex as a man in today's world is not a simple feat. From the moment you wake up, you're overwhelmed with nakedness from your TV to your church and from the bus stop to your office; I know how many half-naked women I encountered on Monday alone.

My own path wasn't made any easier since I was one of those who explored their sexuality early. At the time I didn't know Christ and I obviously enjoyed the thrill of it. Sex is fantastic and unless you're experiencing some issues of heart or mind, you're going to want to keep at it.

Which is why when I wasn't doing it at a point (no available babe that I liked) or not making out, I resorted to pornography to fill the void. I would surf the net for it, masturbate and start all over again. At a point, I was doing it up to four times a day! I was heavily addicted to it. Reality wasn't any better; I couldn't even go two steps without seeing a woman I wanted in bed.

I would go off feeling guilty and dirty, but I didn't stop. I would pray to God to take it away, not realizing that prayers without action meant nothing. So I started to work, I set up Kaspersky Antivirus and used it's featured parental function to block off porn sites. I used a random password I never memorized so I'd never be able to undo it.

I deleted my email and online Porn accounts. I spent more time away from females than I'd ever done. In fact, at a point, when a lady said hi, I'd think; "What? What is it? What do you want, now? Na wetin? Who are you and where are you from? Abeg go! I no want!"

I was often very harsh with ladies then and they never understood why and it was wisdom to NOT tell them why. It would have been courting trouble with the ones who would not mind that kind of adventure and then it would also be fodder for the ones among them who were certified gossips.

I wasn't blaming them really, but I just wanted to avoid such troubles. I knew sex was by choice and so were the other things I was doing so, I had to make choices to stop. There's a special group of Pharisees, according to history, called the "bloody Pharisees". They were so known because they claimed to avoid sin and lust by looking down at the ground as they walked. The result of which was that they fell into gutters, walked into walls, poles and people. They were walking accidents! I became one and while they became proud of themselves and used their injuries to boast of being righteous, I just wanted to do the right thing. I modified it to walking fast and always looking forward so I never see anything "odd", and if I did, I quickly crossed the road! In fact, at some point in my life, friends and family began to refer to me as the man who walks with his face in front of him, never looking right or left. Till this day, I'll sometimes slip into it subconsciously.

It's been a long hard road. Some days, all I've done is just switch off my phone and laptop and read my Bible or sleep. Other days I had to drink bottle after bottle of cold water as if I was a mermaid who was cast out of the sea! "All na format to hold body!"

Then after all the prayer and fasting, I come online and some special ladies have ventured into my inbox.

This one sends naked pictures, Block!

This one says she can take care of me and tells me how. I tell her Jesus is taking very good care of me. She no gree commot, Block!

The other one propositions me. Block!

Those ones want to come to my house because they heard pastors "do it" well. Block! Block!! Block!!!

*Spoils keypad and mouse while navigating and pressing block*

It’s not always hard, but some days, especially when you're in that "place" where you're thinking of being with someone special one day, the desire and pull can get very intense and one needs to be very cautious. I'm choosing to wait because I want to give all of me rightly this time and I want it to be with my wife. My own woman whose love and passion I can enjoy and have no regrets over.

Besides, I can't tell men about godliness and faith, if I am not interested in it. I can't tell men to not be promiscuous and play around, while spilling my precious seed in bed or with random women.

I can't lay claim to love God and wilfully have sex any time I want, without a care. This isn't about STDs or pregnancy, this is about being the man I know I'm called to be and being accountable.

The world has taught me that as a man I can sleep around and not care. It has taught me sex with multiple women, even when married, is my right. Jesus told me different. Jesus told me he made me and he wants me to save all my love and passion for one special woman he wants me to love, provide for and protect all my days. I choose to listen to Jesus. The world be damned.

I didn't wait, but I am waiting now…

-  Author (Anonymous)

If you have been affected by this story, please send an email to trulymakingadifference@gmail.com

Photocredit: woetome.wordpress.com & www.naij.com

The Case of a Pregnant Virgin

Hello Readers, 

I would like to encourage those who are primary and secondary virgin to continue to stay pure. Do not give up. I can assure you that there are thousands of men and women out there that have chosen to stay sexually pure. While you are ensuring that you do not have sexual intercourse, do not forget to stay sexually pure by practising the No THKS (Touching, Hugging, Kissing and Sex). Virginity is useless without sexual purity, they are both important.

Read the true life story below:

The case of the pregnant virgin

A young nursing student came to my clinic with a complaint of delayed menstruation.  From her menstrual history, it was established that she had been regularly having her period every month until this month when she was already delayed by two weeks.  Being a standard-operating-procedure (SOP), I asked about intimate sexual relations which she, and her boyfriend who came along with her, vehemently denied.  I explained to her that for us obstetricians, pregnancy or a consequence thereof is the first consideration in any delay in menstruation.

What can cause absence of menstruation?

For the record, there are conditions that can cause delayed menses or an absence of menses from someone previously having it.   Some of these conditions are:
• Pregnancy or a complication thereof (i.e. abortion, ectopic pregnancy)
• PCOS or polycystic ovarian syndrome
• Intake of certain drugs like non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) such as  mefenamic acid,  hormones, chemotherapeutic agents (anti-cancer)
• Stress, whether emotional or physical (as in athletes)
• Depression
• Premature ovarian failure (aka premature menopause)

Was she pregnant?

Even with their denial, I had to do a pregnancy test, which turned out to be positive or (+), meaning she was pregnant.  With this result in hand, I proceeded to do a physical examination to verify the pregnancy.  She refused a speculum and internal examination (IE) as she still maintained she was a virgin.  To my surprise, her hymen indeed was intact.  As promised, I didn’t do an IE but requested for a transabdominal (through the abdomen) pelvic ultrasound instead.  To their surprise, the ultrasound result showed a live pregnancy of about six weeks duration.  She indeed was pregnant.

How did I determine whether she was a virgin?

The all too important hymen takes center stage here.  The hymen is a thin tissue right at the opening of the vagina.  It is not totally closed but has a small central opening where menstrual blood can flow out of.  The opening is about 1 to 1.2 cm.  Being so, one can use a tampon for menstruation and not cause any damage to the hymen.  The large size tampon is only about 1 cm in diameter.  Therefore, mothers need not worry about their daughters losing their virginity with the use of tampons.

So, what does it mean to lose virginity?  Simply put it means there was already intimate sexual relation which connotes actual penetration of the man’s sexual organ into the female’s vaginal canal. The penis is 2cm or more in diameter. On first sexual contact, the penetration of the penis causes this membrane to be broken as the penis is larger than the hymenal opening.  The hymen then breaks causing some amount of bleeding. 

Therefore, on physical examination, we determine whether the hymenal ring is still intact (virgin) or the hymen has already been broken (non-virgin). Sometimes, it can also be determined whether the penetration occurred recently (fresh tears) or some time before (healed tears).  There are some exceptions to the rule.  In some women, this membrane may not break because it has been shown that there are those who have resilient hymen.  In addition, there are those who have done some sexual acts without resorting to actual penetration.  So, frankly speaking, they are not actually “virgins” in the real sense but only physical virgins, i.e. intact hymen.

The mystery solved

Needless to say, the couple had a very intense argument with the boyfriend accusing the girl of infidelity.  He was very sure he has not penetrated the girl’s vaginal canal.  She adamantly insisted she had no other man in her life. I had to show the man that indeed the girlfriend’s hymen was intact.  I had to solve the mystery myself so I sat them down together to get a clearer view of the circumstances.  Being nursing students, I had hoped they were able to understand the situation as I am now going to narrate.

The couple in this story had been doing heavy petting, or in other words, sexual foreplay.  Not wanting to have a resulting pregnancy, the man sees to it that he does not penetrate.  However, there are times when he ejaculates right at the hymenal opening.  During ejaculation, the semen comes out in bursts with some degree of force.  It could have happened that some semen, with the concomitant sperms, were able to enter the vaginal canal.  The sperms then could now travel upward through the fallopian tube and meet the ovum or egg resulting in a fertilized egg, thereby resulting in pregnancy.

If you find that hard to believe, imagine the man in this story.  I had hoped he would understand but I later found out he could not fathom the explanation which eventually led to the break up.

How about the woman?  The last I heard from her, she called me up to speak to her mother and to assure the mother she was a virgin. I refused. I told her you may be a virgin in the physical sense but we both know you have had an intimate relation with a man. She never came back.

Reference - http://www.herword.com/healthdesk/main.php?id=pregnant+virgin

If you have been affected by the above, please send an email to trulymakingadifference@gmail.com. If you would like to share your story, also send an email to the above email address.

- Myss Lafunky 

Competition! Competition! Win a £10 Amazon voucher

Hi Readers,

I recently engaged in a discussion about how some Christian brothers and sisters deceive,  and toy with each other's emotions. Some have lied against God by stating to different girls that God led them to marry them. There have been examples of others not setting appropriate boundaries in their platonic friendships which led to emotional cheating, developed feelings without the relationship being defined, worldly passions, etc. Some even go ahead to give pet names to each other without being in a courtship relationship. 

Some Christian brothers have complained that Christian sisters lead them on. Some argue that, why do single ladies agree to go to movies, restaurants, etc,  if they know that they had no intention to consent to a relationship? There are various experiences out there. 

Myss Lafunky would like to do a series for you all to send in anonymous write-ups or use a pseudonym to write a post about your experience or experiences that you were told and you believe the readers can learn from or can pass to others to learn.

I shall start publishing the posts from next week Monday. There will be a £10 Amazon gift voucher each for the first 10 posts that are received.

Please, send your writeups to trulymakingadifference@gmail.com

If you need help with editing the post, Myss Lafunky will gladly help you.

I look forward to reading from you.

- Myss Lafunky

Jesus in Every Book of the Bible

Happy New Week!


This week's post is about finding Jesus in every book of the Bible.

Whilst growing up, I learnt a lot of biblical songs that have continued to shape my life positively. There are times that the biblical songs and stories have aided my understanding of scriptures.  

Today's write-up will be beneficial for parents, parents-to-be, carers and Sunday School teachers.

Do you know that there are creative ways that you can teach the children about Jesus?

Buy pictorial bible for your children and spend time to learn fun ways that your children can learn the Bible. You can use flashcards, watch movies together, compose biblical songs together, give them regular homework, get them to also tell you stories from the Bible, get your children to be the teachers, this will help you to assess their understanding, set healthy competitions, let them participate in quiz, word puzzles, drawing, bible charades, and other biblical games.

As a child, I had the opportunity to memorise the books of the Bible through a church competition. Prizes were given to the winners. I was given a Bible bookmark for the books of the Bible, I learned how to open my Bible very fast using the bookmark.

Every child should have a Bible bookmark for the books of the Bible as it would help them to learn and memorise the books of the Bible.

I have a task for you. Can you attempt to learn the books of the Bible below?

You and your children or your Sunday School class can create time to learn the below. Give them two to four weeks to learn it, award first, second and third prize to the children that were able to recite it confidently.

Jesus in Every Book of the Bible:

In GENESIS, Jesus is the Ram at Abraham's altar
In EXODUS, He's the Passover Lamb
In LEVITICUS, He's the High Priest
In NUMBERS, He's the Cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night
In DEUTERONOMY, He's the City of our Refuge
In JOSHUA, He's the Scarlet Thread out by Rahab's window
In JUDGES, He is our King
In RUTH, He is our Kinsman Redeemer.

In 1st and 2nd SAMUEL, He's our Trusted Prophet
In KINGS and CHRONICLES, He's our Reigning King
In EZRA, He is our Faithful Scribe
In NEHEMIAH, He's the Rebuilder of everything that is broken
In ESTHER, He is the Mordecai sitting faithful at the gate
In JOB, He's our Redeemer that ever liveth
In PSALMS, He is my Shepherd
In PROVERBS and ECCLESIASTES, He's our Wisdom
In the SONG OF SOLOMON, He's the Beautiful Bridegroom
In ISAIAH, He's the Suffering Servant
In JEREMIAH and LAMENTATIONS, it is Jesus that is the Weeping Prophet.

In EZEKIEL, He's the Wonderful Four-Faced Man
In DANIEL, He is the Fourth Man in the midst of a fiery furnace
In HOSEA, He is my Love that is forever faithful
In JOEL, He baptizes us with the Holy Spirit
In AMOS, He's our Burden Bearer
In OBADIAH, He's our Savior
In JONAH, He is the Great Foreign Missionary
In MICAH, He is the Messenger with beautiful feet
In NAHUM, He is the Avenger
In HABAKKUK, He is the Watchman that is ever praying for revival
In ZEPHANIAH, He is the Lord mighty to save
In HAGGAI, He is the Restorer of our lost heritage
In ZECHARIAH, He is our Fountain
In MALACHI, He is the Son of Righteousness with healing in His wings.

In MATTHEW, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the Living God
In MARK, He's the Miracle Worker
In LUKE, He's the Son of Man
In JOHN, He is the door by which everyone of us must enter
In ACTS, He is the Shining Light that appears to Saul on the Damascus road
In ROMANS, He is our Justifier
In 1st CORINTHIANS, He is our Resurrection
In 2nd CORINTHIANS, He is our Sin Bearer
In GALATIANS, He redeems us from the law.

In EPHESIANS, He is our Unsearchable Riches
In PHILIPPIANS, He supplies our every need
In COLOSSIANS, He's the Fullness of the Godhead Bodily
In 1st and 2nd THESSALONIANS, He is our Soon Coming King
In 1st and 2nd TIMOTHY, He is the Mediator between God and man
In TITUS, He is our Blessed Hope
In PHILEMON, He is a Friend that sticks closer than a brother
In HEBREWS, He's the Blood of the everlasting covenant
In JAMES, it is the Lord that heals the sick
In 1st and 2nd PETER, He is the Chief Shepherd
In 1st, 2nd, and 3rd JOHN, it is Jesus who has the tenderness of love
In JUDE, He is the Lord coming with 10,000 saints
In REVELATION, He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

References: bobrogers.me and www.challies.com

- Myss Lafunky

Two Lifestyles | A Tale of Sowing and Reaping

There's a new lifestyle that the British Government has made everyone to comply with; this is the use of carrying our carrier bags in supermarkets and shopping mall. The bags are no longer free, you don't have a choice other than to comply, although there is still an option of paying for a carrier bag, I seldom see people buying carrier bags. Are people struggling to adjust to this new culture?

In relation to Christianity, God has been open with us, He has chosen not to set a trap for us to fail. In the Bible, He explained two different lifestyles and the results of following them.  

Lifestyle 1 

1. A life that believes in Jesus Christ
2. A life that lives according to the guidelines set down by God
3. A life that does not walk the road of those who rebel against God
4. A life that is careful of the advice that he or she follows
5. A life that constantly considers what God would think
6. A life that is eager to do God's work.
7. A life with beautiful characters
8. A life that is open about their shortcomings with God
9. A life that finds joy in allowing God's Word to shape their life
10. A life that Christ rules everything about them
11. A life that is uncomfortable when he or she has not hung out with God in a day
12. A life that continues to be happy that they are living their life well in accordance with the Word of God
13. A life that is always ready to learn
14. A life that does not allow anything to separate him or her from the love of God
15. A life of purity
16. A life without pretence, and a life that is friendly and approachable

Outcome of Lifestyle 1

• Assurance of making heaven 
• Protection by God
• Succeeds in everything they do
• Has a stable mind 
• Experiences divine prosperity and favour from God.
• Generations after them enjoy prosperity from God.
• A life that is rewarded by God
• A life that flourish though, they may be despised by others

Lifestyle 2 

1. A life that depends on their own wisdom and disregard the Word of God
2. A life that believes it is impossible to live without sin
3. A life that has no place to live according to the word of God
4. A life that condemns God by their way of living
5. A life that believes all things are possible without God
6. A life of pretence, deceit, a life that deliberately cheat
7. A life of murmuring
8. A greedy life
9. A life that keeps apart from being close friends with practising Christians
10. A life that focuses on life on earth and disregard life after the earth
11. A proud life
12. A life that believes their kindness is sufficient to live on this earth or after this earth

Outcome of Lifestyle 2

• The end is ruin and the life comes to nought
• The end life leads to destruction and hell.
• Does not enjoy the goodness and blessings of God
• Faces God's judgement
• A life without substance
• A worthless life
• A life with temporary enjoyment but eternal condemnation

Psalm 1:1-6 says:

“BLESSED (HAPPY, fortunate, prosperous, and enviable) is the man who walks and lives not in the counsel of the ungodly [following their advice, their plans and purposes], nor stands [submissive and inactive] in the path where sinners walk, nor sits down [to relax and rest] where the scornful [and the mockers] gather. 

But his delight and desire are in the law of the Lord, and on His law (the precepts, the instructions, the teachings of God) he habitually meditates (ponders and studies) by day and by night. [Rom. 13:8-10; Gal. 3:1-29; II Tim. 3:16.] 

And he shall be like a tree firmly planted [and tended] by the streams of water, ready to bring forth its fruit in its season; its leaf also shall not fade or wither; and everything he does shall prosper [and come to maturity]. [Jer. 17:7, 8.] 

Not so the wicked [those disobedient and living without God are not so]. But they are like the chaff [worthless, dead, without substance] which the wind drives away. 

Therefore the wicked [those disobedient and living without God] shall not stand [justified] in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous [those who are upright and in right standing with God]. 

For the Lord knows and is fully acquainted with the way of the righteous, but the way of the ungodly [those living outside God's will] shall perish (end in ruin and come to nought).” (Amplified Version). 

Which lifestyle are you living? 

Have a lovely week ahead

- Myss Lafunky

Photo Credit: applevalleychurchblog.wordpress.com

You Have The Right To Grow!

Happy New Month Readers & Followers,

I can't believe it's nearly Christmas. I bless God for keeping us alive. Now give God praise for the gift of life.

Myss Lafunky's Blog will be 3 years this December and there will be some giveaways to celebrate our anniversary in December. I'm super excited!

You Have the Right to Grow

Reflecting upon the way I was a few years ago, I have gone through a lot of pruning which has led to growth and increased wisdom, just as Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favour with God and man (Luke 2:52).

The pruning occurred through the daily things that I had experienced. I'm a firm believer that having the right knowledge and exhibiting the right action with the right knowledge and at the right time would show whether one has grown. For example, in the past, I expressed my views without considering how my views would affect the receiver. My previous understanding was to just speak the truth, after all, that was what God expects from his children.

I have learned and continue to learn that it's important to avoid offending others when expressing our views. Some of the many things I have learned include: my understanding of being a balanced Christian, understanding of the power of Holy Communion, understanding of interpersonal skills, understanding of honouring God in the place of giving, understanding of serving God acceptably, Christian ministry, among others. Have you had your own share of growth and learning as well? Think deeply as to the areas that you need to grow, be honest with yourself and ask God to help you.

One of my Christian sisters wrote a quote which I truly believe in. It says:

Life_session - Follow her on Instagram.

The above statement can be linked to our Christian journey and growth. God expects us to grow and be better in the way we live our lives in relation to our character, our understanding of life, understanding of sins, wisdom, talents, skills, understanding of the Bible etc.

Regarding the way you view people, God does not want you to judge them based on their negative pasts. Since you are a joint heir with Christ and also an ambassador of Christ, you are not to make reference to people's negative pasts. Learn to make positive assumptions that they have also grown and are better, the same way you are growing and becoming better.

The Bible says:

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. (1 Corinthians 13:11).

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. (2 Timothy 3:14-15).

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love (Ephesians 4:15-16).

You have the right to grow, don't be stagnant. Keep growing! 

- Myss Lafunky