I used the below points to counsel someone, I felt I should share it with you.
Consider the following points before you agree to marry your intended spouse:
This post can be utilised by my male readers and followers as well. You can also use it as part of counselling/mentoring.
Do you know his background? In terms of his family background, family's value, educational background?
What's your view about his character, attitude and personality? Are both of your characters and personality okay? Or do you clash extremely?
Have you discussed the past at all? Anything about his past that you need to know or about your past that he needs to know?
Your emotional moods? What makes him angry? Can you cope with each other's moods?
What would he like in his ideal wife? What would you like in your ideal husband?
Career wise, is it okay for you to work? What's his view about being a woman and working? Or what is his view about a lady not working? How would he cope with that? What's your own view as well?
Religion, have you discussed your beliefs and practises, customs or traditions? Do you share similar views, the ones that you disagree, are you prepared to compromise?
Family, have you discussed about your relatives, in-laws and the children that you want to have? Do both of you agree whether to have children or not? If you do not give birth to a particular gender, what's his view about it?
Are we both Christians? Is my intending spouse committed to God?
Have you discussed what would make you offend the in-laws, etc?
What do the in-laws think about you? What do you think about the family that you are going into?
Have you discussed about gender roles?
Health? Any health issues? Genotypes? HIV? Mental health? Severe allergies?
Finance? Do we know how much you both earn? Is he okay if I solely depend on him if I am ever in the position to depend on him?
Is he stingy? Is he a giver? Am I a giver? Am I stingy? Does he have a huge responsibility for his siblings? Does he seek money in an ungodly way? Is he hardworking? Is he financially ready for marriage? Is he emotionally ready for marriage? Is he fully depended on his parents both emotionally and financially?
Finally, ask yourself, why do I want to marry him? Why do I want to go into marriage with this particular person not anybody else?
Are my reasons genuine? Am I really sure? Am I happy with everything that I have known about him so far? Am I ready to marry him and learn everything else in marriage?
Am I ready for marriage now?
Finally, ask yourself, why do I want to marry him? Why do I want to go into marriage with this particular person not anybody else?
Are my reasons genuine? Am I really sure? Am I happy with everything that I have known about him so far? Am I ready to marry him and learn everything else in marriage?
Am I ready for marriage now?
Why am I ready for marriage now?
If you are a Christian, have you involved God?
Have you prayed? What's God telling you?
Do you have the approval of the pertinent people in your life?
- Myss Lafunky
If you are a Christian, have you involved God?
Have you prayed? What's God telling you?
Do you have the approval of the pertinent people in your life?
- Myss Lafunky
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