Are You A Match?

Hello Readers and followers,

Happy Monday. How was your weekend? Did you read your Bible during the weekend? Myss Lafunky would like to plead with you to take time (at least 15 minutes every day) to learn more about Jesus and His way through His Word. You can start by reading a chapter a day, i.e. Matthew 1 (For Monday), Matthew 2 (For Tuesday), etc., and after you have read, use what you have read to pray to God. Happy reading! 

Send me an email so that I can know how you are doing.  You have 24 hours in a day, wouldn't it be amazing if you give at least 15 mins to God? Remember, God has continued to serve you as He watches over you when you sleep. He made it possible for you to be alive as you don't have control over your sleep. Why not take time to learn about Him.

Before I start today's post, I would like to use this medium to thank all those that have continued to subscribe to Myss Lafunky's blog, you are appreciated, and I'm also grateful to our readers from different countries of the world, without this blog, I would not have been able to reach you. Remember to tell your friends, siblings, parents, colleagues, church friends, new believers, and singles about Myss Lafunky's blog.

If you need to ask Myss Lafunky's any questions, or you need advice, mentorship, or you want your story to be published anonymously, please contact me on trulymakingadifference@gmail.com
The ministry is a Non-Profit Christian Organisation, therefore, there is no charge.

Today's post stemmed from my daily devotional.

Are You A Match or A Mismatch?

Spiritual mismatch is often used to describe a marriage between a believer and a non-believer or a relationship between two believers that share different beliefs about their faith.  

Are you aware that some Born Again Christians that are married to non-believers sometimes feel like a spiritual widow - they feel isolated, lonely, discouraged and they sometimes feel distance from their spouse? 

Some of them wish God will give them the power to change their spouse to a Christian.

For those that are married to non-believers spouse or became a Christian after your solemization, please, keep praying for your spouse, ask God to comfort and encourage you, tell God that you need Him to teach you how to show the love of Christ in your home even when things appear difficult.

Remember, God loves your spouse more than you do, and His desire is for your spouse to know Him.

For those that are not yet married and you are considering whether you and your spouse to-be are spiritually compatible even if he/she is a believer already.

Consider the following questions, discuss the questions with your spouse to-be, use the below questions to observe your prospective spouse or use subtle ways to informally quiz your prospective spouse.

NB: The answers are just typical examples of responses from various people.
 

1) Spiritual Growth

a - It comes from purposely spending time alone with God, reading the Word of God and learning from others.

b - It happens when it happens

c - I don't understand what Spiritual growth is about.

d - It's not needed, the Holy Spirit will teach me all things.

2) Money

a - Everything that I have is God's, so I'm happy to give generously.

b - I've earned my money on my own, so I can spend it however I want.

3) Sharing My faith

a - Witnessing is done by Evangelist and Missionaries. I will not be witnessing with you.

b - Evangelism is a lifestyle and the best way to win people to Christ is to love them unconditionally and to also create time to witness to people.
 

4) Hospitality

a - I don't like having visitors. I only like having a few friends to my place and they must not stay over.

b - I love having people over including my siblings, it's a way to connect with others spiritually and to show act of kindness.

 

5) Weekends

a - All weekends must be spent at my father's place, it's our tradition, even after church.

b - I believe in keeping my weekends for God and it's a time to reconnect back to God.

c - Weekend is for watching TV, a time to rest and a time to hang out with friends.

 

6) Background

a - I'm from an affluent background, I dislike people that are not educated. I must have designer products.

b - I'm from a middle class background, however, I have relatives that are not educated, I shop anywhere.

 

7) Bible Study

a - I study my Bible on a daily basis.

b - I learn the Word when I attend church.

 

8) Sex

a - I cannot marry someone that has engaged in any form of fornication.

b - I don't believe in having pre-marital sex, however, I am okay with kissing and touching.

c - I believe in no THKS before marriage (No inappropriate touching, no inappropriate hugging, no kissing and no sex).

 

9) Conflicts

a - I believe a man is never wrong and a wife must always apologise to her husband at all times during conflicts.

b - I believe men and women must submit to one another and pray to God to help them, and to seek counsel.

c - I don't think conflicts will occur.
d - We will solve issues as they arise.

 

10) Interests

a - I enjoy travelling to different countries, I would love to move to Australia.

b - I enjoy travelling within my vicinity, I don't want to move away from England due to my family.

c - I hate travelling.

I hope you have found the above useful. You can also create your own questions. Remember, you and your spouse should work towards being a match before you marry. In addition, it is VITAL that both of you are Born Again Christians, however, it takes more than being a Born Again Christian to be a match for each other, you need to discuss your values, background, health, finance, some vital biblical principles, amongst others with each other.

Peradventure, you both share similar interests, similar dreams and goals, and the individual is not a Born Again Christian or the individual is not a humble Christian, you need to go back to God and seek God's view. I pray the Lord God will lead and direct you right in Jesus name. Remember to trust Him and allow Him to lead you. 

Finally, 2 Corinthians 6:14 says: Stop forming inappropriate relationships with unbelievers. Can right and wrong be partners? Can light have anything in common with darkness? (God's Word Translation Bible). God's view about this is very clear, He does not want you to form a very close relationship with people that have not given their lives to Christ. Nonetheless, still allow God to direct you.

Have a wonderful week.  Remember to share this post. There's sharing in ministry. If you have any questions regarding this post, feel free to write your comment below or send an email to trulymakingadifference@gmail.com

- Myss Lafunky

The Cry For Freedom: The Story of a Porn Addict

Hello readers and followers,

I was privileged to be part of a Christian radio show (Before I Do), we had a guest: Elisha Kolade. Elisha was a previous porn addict and he was addicted for over 10 years. Elisha was introduced to porn by his friends, and also, he did not feel love whilst growing up. *How are your friends influencing you?* * How are you showing that you care about your children?*

Elisha was extremely engrossed in his porn addiction. Elisha eventually moved on to sleeping with prostitutes. He advanced and progressed in his addiction by paying to sleep with prostitutes.

(What are the things that you are addicted to? And what are those things that you are struggling to let go, and you are becoming controlled negatively?). Do you know that addiction is an evil spirit? It is a way that the Devil uses to control people.

While Elisha was going through his struggles, he did not speak out for help. Although he was a regular church goer but his life did not depict a life that was committed to Christ, however, people were not aware of his struggles.

Consequences of his actions

Elisha lost his minds, all he could think about was images of women, he masturbated, he was ashamed, he was unable to reason, and everything about his life was on hold. His finances were affected, he felt ashamed and guilty, yet Elisha could not let go.

So, how was Elisha delivered from Porn?

He believed God helped him. The Grace and Mercy of God delivered him.

He had the desire to change and to let go. Although he fell during the change but God helped and lifted him up.

Elisha had to change his environment. He moved away from his old environment.

He burnt his dvds.

He spoke out for help. It took Elisha a lot of courage to seek help. The help became very beneficial.

He also asked God to help him. Elisha is confident that God truly helped and delivered him.

Elisha has written a book about his experience and how God delivered him. Elisha's book is available on Amazon. If you would like to contact Elisha, kindly contact trulymakingadifference@gmail.com and his detail will be forwarded to you.

- Myss Lafunky

Sexual Sins in My Relationship: Turning It Around

Happy Monday to my committed readers and followers,

Hope you like reading and following my blog. 

I was asked if I was a Youth Pastor. I'm not actually a Youth Pastor, I have passion to help singles, teenagers, youth and all Christians in respect to the 3 R's ( Relationship with God, Relationship with your spouse, your spouse to be, and Relationship with People). It's my passion and ministry. I don't need a special title to make a difference.

I was also asked if I am paid to run my blog. The answer is No. This is a Non-Profit organisation. Myss Lafunky is a Non-Profit teaching blogspot for Christian users of the Internet. The materials on the blog can be used by anyone, I am particularly pleased when the blog has been referenced and when people make use of the materials. Nonetheless, if you don't reference the blog after you have used a material, it's not a problem at all, as long the message is being spread to everyone.

Another Christian ministry has recently blessed Myss Lafunky. I am extremely grateful, I feel honoured and humbled. All the Glory and honour belong to God.

Now..here goes the post for this week. Remember to share the post with your friends and your Internet friends.

The following is the story of Lola and Ade..

Ade met Lola many years ago when she was just finishing her A levels. Ade was a worldly, fun-loving, handsome young man, and she was also a fun, young lady but from an upper middle class background, she seldom attended any party.

Lola and Ade were both church goers, they identified themselves as Christians in title, but without the right knowledge about relationships, neither did they knew God's position on relationships (dating and courtship).

In the course of their relationship, their relationship became quite romantic, passions and lust got the better of their relationships. They engaged in the THKS (Touching, Hugging inappropriately, Kissing and Sex). Due to their worldly mindset, they thought it was not possible to go out with someone without engaging in THKS and they also felt that, as long they were not engaging in THKS with other people, they were fine.
 

As they grew in age and after about 2 years into their relationship, Lola and Ade became serious with their Christian lives. They started reading their Bible more, they started reading blogs about courtship, they started attending Christian seminars, Christian programmes; they learnt a lot about Christian relationships. Lola and Ade pondered on whether they should continue their relationship given that they had done the worst thing you could ever imagined, they had defiled themselves. Lola and Ade decided to separate for a year and they started all over again. During their one year gap, they became platonic friends. They had to get rid of sexual emotions.

Initially, Lola and Ade struggled to relate with each other as mere friends, having engaged in THKS before.  However, God renewed their minds. God reminded that, He had forgiven their sins and He would not remember their sins no more. God told them that He was ready to give them a second chance as He had a purpose that He wanted to fulfil in their lives.

As Lola and Ade's friendship developed, they had to deal with all the hidden issues of their relationships, they had to learn about purity in courtship, purity in marriage, purpose of courtship, purpose of a relationship, how to stay pure in courtship, how to be a friend with your spouse to be, they also took time to pray extensively, they had a mentor that they opened up to who supported them during this process. The learning, strict boundaries, open communication with each other, and the safety mechanism (having a mentor, supervision from their mentor) prevented them from falling into sin as they sought God's Will for their relationship.

 

The new relationship was built on God's principles. Lola and Ade humbled themselves to learn about Christian courtship, they adopted a teachable spirit, and they took time to hear from God during every stage of their relationship.

While Lola and Ade's courtship started wrongly in the first two years, after they separated for a year, they were able to rebuild their relationship. They started a new courtship based on Godly principles for 18 months, and after 18 months, they tied the knot. 

Lola and Ade wished they had the right knowledge from the inception of their courtship, they were not taught in church about purity neither were they taught by their parents.

Lola and Ade no longer have any regrets as they have continued to stand on God's Word which says, 'There is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.'

To Myss Lafunky's readers and followers

Have you missed it along the way? Have you defiled yourself in a lustful way? This is the time to get it right, God is ready to help you. Are you ready to take the bold step to live a pure life in your next relationship or in your present relationship?

It is to be noted that, while God told Lola and Ade to get back together, God's instructions for you may be different. God may tell you to break the wrong foundation that you have laid by breaking your relationship entirely. You need to ask God about your own relationship or seek counsel from a Christian mentor or counsellor, or someone knowledgeable about Christian courtships.

If you have any questions, leave your comments below or contact Myss Lafunky on trulymakingadifference@gmail.com
 

- Myss Lafunky

Are You Thinking Of Marrying Him? Consider the Following Points BeforeYou Agree to Marry Him

 Hi followers and readers,

I used the below points to counsel someone, I felt I should share it with you.

Consider the following points before you agree to marry your intended spouse:

This post can be utilised by my male readers and followers as well.  You can also use it as part of counselling/mentoring.

Do you know his background? In terms of his family background, family's value, educational background?

What's your view about his character, attitude and personality? Are both of your characters and personality okay? Or do you clash extremely? 

Have you discussed the past at all? Anything about his past that you need to know or about your past that he needs to know?

Your emotional moods? What makes him angry? Can you cope with each other's moods?

What would he like in his ideal wife? What would you like in your ideal husband?

Career wise, is it okay for you to work? What's his view about being a woman and working? Or what is his view about a lady not working? How would he cope with that? What's your own view as well?

Religion, have you discussed your beliefs and practises, customs or traditions? Do you share similar views, the ones that you disagree, are you prepared to compromise?

Family, have you discussed about your relatives, in-laws and the children that you want to have? Do both of you agree whether to have children or not? If you do not give birth to a particular gender, what's his view about it?

Are we both Christians? Is my intending spouse committed to God?

Have you discussed what would make you offend the in-laws, etc? 

What do the in-laws think about you? What do you think about the family that you are going into?

Have you discussed about gender roles?

Health? Any health issues? Genotypes? HIV? Mental health? Severe allergies?

Finance? Do we know how much you both earn? Is he okay if I solely depend on him if I am ever in the position to depend on him? 

Is he stingy? Is he a giver? Am I a giver? Am I stingy? Does he have a huge responsibility for his siblings? Does he seek money in an ungodly way? Is he hardworking? Is he financially ready for marriage? Is he emotionally ready for marriage? Is he fully depended on his parents both emotionally and financially?

Finally, ask yourself, why do I want to marry him? Why do I want to go into marriage with this particular person not anybody else?

Are my reasons genuine? Am I really sure? Am I happy with everything that I have known about him so far? Am I ready to marry him and learn everything else in marriage?

Am I ready for marriage now? 

Why am I ready for marriage now? 

If you are a Christian, have you involved God?

Have you prayed? What's God telling you?

Do you have the approval of the pertinent people in your life?

- Myss Lafunky

When Marriage Becomes a Costly Mistake

Hello Readers and Followers,

Happy Monday.

For the benefit of my new followers and readers, Myss Lafunky usually publish a new post every Monday. However, I also share post during the week when I am led by the Holy Spirit to post an article.

Do you have any burning question that you need an answer to? Remember to send your questions to trulymakingadifference@gmail.com. I will be happy to help. Thanks to my readers and followers that are making use of the free questions and answers opportunities via email.  

You are making Myss Lafunky to be more zealous in the ministry and the foundation that God has committed into my hands.

Here goes the post for this week..

Josephine, a Born Again Christian and a gospel singer, met Luke at a gospel concert. Luke deceived Josephine into believing that he, too, was a Born Again Christian and a lover of gospel music and almost immediately, a relationship sparked off. 

Within months, they were already talking of marriage. Josephine went to about 3 pastors for counselling. All of them gave their consent, erroneously assuming that it was God's will. The information that Josephine shared to the Pastor enabled all the pastors to give their full permission.  

Within six months of their meeting, they got married. 

The marriage was very problematic, Josephine and Luke did not seek help neither did they speak about their problems to the members of their church. Josephine felt that, given that their pastors usually made reference to them during preaching or seminars as the ideal young couple, they felt the need not to seek counsel. Nonetheless, several problems took its toll on their marriage.

Josephine came back home one day to find that her husband had disappeared with most of his belongings. She became a nervous wreck.  

She reported his disappearance to the Police and requested that their church and Christian friends pray for Luke's return and safety. Luke had left no messages with friends and he hadn't called.

His family claimed they had not heard from him.  The Police found his car parked behind his office, locked and empty, and suspected that he had run away.

The search continued..

Josephine couldn't come to terms with it, she couldn't cope as she had their children to look after.

After a few months that Luke had gone missing, things began to unfold. Luke's family disclosed what had happened.

Luke's family begged Josephine and her family to keep the information secret as they did not want their family to experience any shame from people. 

So..what exactly happened?

Luke's family disclosed that, Luke was diagnosed with Schizophrenia when he was at university, he was taking medications but he was unable to manage despite the medications. 

Luke's parents reported that, their son is living with a special prophet who is praying for him 24/7, every day, the prophet had also said that, Luke would have to remain single. 

Luke's parents shared that, the marriage only took place as the prophet initially told them that if Luke married Josephine, he would be cured from Schizophrenia. Given that, Luke was not cured, he fled back home for special treatment.

After a few years of living as a single mother, Josephine and Luke divorced. 

Lessons to be learnt

Never make assumptions about a person's character.

Do not substitute prayers for courtship because you need to know the person you intend to marry; yet prayer should not be underestimated.

Find out about each other's background from friends, relatives, siblings, childhood friends, amongst others.

Ask God what He is saying before you go into the marriage. God's view, God's consent or disapproval is more important.

Do not rush into marriage. And to those that are married, please, all your discussions with single brethren should not centre on 'when are you getting married'. Be creative!

Make sure you take time to study your husband to be or your wife to be carefully, because a marriage with a faulty foundation can disintegrate, even after 20 years.

Finally, remember that a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. God does not hate broken courtship. He wants you to get it right before you say I do.

Are you in a relationship and you are not happy about the relationship? However, you feel that, you want to be among the people that will share a testimony that, you married your first ever boyfriend? (Of what benefits would it be?).

Or do you feel that the whole world has known your fiancé/fiancee. Therefore, it is too late to break the relationship? Think of your decision and choices carefully, marriage is not a walk in the park. 

The person you marry is going to affect the way the rest of your life turns out. Therefore, be sure to marry somebody that God leads you to. Always seek clarity from God at all times.

- Myss Lafunky