Apologies
for not publishing a post on Monday; I have had a busy week, a busy month
of March.
I
woke up, thinking and regretting marrying my husband. I had been told that
God hates divorce and that I cannot leave my husband. Yet, the same Bible says that, you can divorce your spouse on the basis of adultery. So, why can’t I
leave? I think I’m scared of what the society will say, I am scared of what
people in my church will say, how can I bring up my daughter without her father? How can I continue to be a Deaconess in church as a single mother?
Would my title be removed from me? What can I do? I am
hopeless, actually, I shouldn’t vocalise my thought of hopelessness as that’s
not biblical…as the Bible says that…life and death are in the power of the
tongue.
Today marks the 2nd year that I married my husband, I courted my husband for 8 months and although I didn’t really know my husband very well before I agreed to marry him, I trusted that God will guide and lead me right since I’m His daughter. Since the day that I married my husband, I had suspected my husband to be cheating. He answered strange phone calls away from where I could listen to his conversation and inappropriate text messages from a particular number lurked on my husband’s phone. When I challenged my husband about the text messages, he denied anything was going on and blamed it on his number being available to anyone in his organisation who had access to the staff contact directory. I became a detective and a prayer warrior in my house. Since the Bible says that faith without action is dead, I decided to continue to monitor my husband’s phone including his social media accounts and I embarked on serious prayers, in fact, I went on marathon prayers; I prayed naked, I fasted and I did so many other things, yet, the calls and messages continued.
Now,
it’s been 5 years down the line since this happened, today is our 7th
Wedding anniversary and my husband now has a ministry of helping and
teaching both single and married men about the importance of staying pure.
Myss
Lafunky was invited to a Christian radio show ‘Before I do’ on Hephzibah radio.
It was my first guest appearance on a Christian show and I had a great
time, thanks to people that tuned in. The show is usually on Thursdays,
7pm-9pm, download Hephzibah radio on your tablet, phones, etc and listen to
it. It’s a great show.
As
you know that, Myss Lafunky and her co-writers (Twale, Tosin, Ife & co) usually
write post about relationship with people, relationship with your spouse,
courtship, dating, and above all relationship with God. We also take
on the “Agony Aunt” role so, feel
free to send in your comments, questions, contributions, etc. We shall be
happy to help and we adhere to strict confidentiality.
Here
goes the post…
Today marks the 2nd year that I married my husband, I courted my husband for 8 months and although I didn’t really know my husband very well before I agreed to marry him, I trusted that God will guide and lead me right since I’m His daughter. Since the day that I married my husband, I had suspected my husband to be cheating. He answered strange phone calls away from where I could listen to his conversation and inappropriate text messages from a particular number lurked on my husband’s phone. When I challenged my husband about the text messages, he denied anything was going on and blamed it on his number being available to anyone in his organisation who had access to the staff contact directory. I became a detective and a prayer warrior in my house. Since the Bible says that faith without action is dead, I decided to continue to monitor my husband’s phone including his social media accounts and I embarked on serious prayers, in fact, I went on marathon prayers; I prayed naked, I fasted and I did so many other things, yet, the calls and messages continued.
Not
too long after my suspicion grew, I requested that my husband used protection
before we could be intimate physically but he said that I didn’t trust him and
he was angry that I even suggested it. But I was losing my mind! I reported the
issue to our pastor and the head of his department but they couldn’t believe
me, they looked puzzled and one of the leaders even said: “Bro Zee is such a good man, helpful, available, humble, gentle and
sound in the Word.”
Nobody
seemed to believe me!!! Though I became more persistent in my prayers, I
eventually became depressed at home and at work, my colleagues wondered what
was wrong with me but I couldn’t say
much more than “I’m just passing through
a phase in my marriage.” Soon, I started reducing going to church
programmes as I felt that the leaders I had spoken to about my marriage were
supporting my husband and not doing much to help me, they were judging my
husband by what he portrayed to them in church. The depression was becoming
evident in many areas of my life much like a cancerous growth.
Just
when I thought things couldn’t get any worse than it already was, the worst up
heaved its head; I got infected with Gonorrhoea! I just couldn’t explain how I
got it because the only person I had ever been intimate with since my marriage
was my dear husband. When I told my husband about it, he busted out in anger.
His notion was that I had been living a promiscuous life and been “gracefully” rewarded for my actions. He
made it clear to me then that he didn’t want me to get him infected so, he wouldn’t
be making love with me till I was cleared of the infection. “God!! What have I done to deserve all this?”
I cried.
But
last Mothers Sunday, the Sun came piercing through my dark cloud. During the morning
charge in my church, my husband told the Pastor that he had something
to share to everyone. He knelt in front of me and openly apologised to me. He
said he had offended God and his wife and he needed to stop his pretence and put
things straight. My husband shared with everyone that prior to getting
married, he got into a fling with one of his work colleagues and he had kept
the relationship up until the month before that Sunday. He told the church
workers that he has ended the relationship and he would like to seek God’s
mercy openly and also, he would like to step down from his position as a Deacon
until God directed him to resume that office. Furthermore, he shared with
everyone that, he would like to thank me, his wife, for not leaving him and he
apologised for living a life of pretence.
Although
it was difficult to forgive my husband, I had to forgive him as Jesus forgave
me of all that I had done. I am also grateful that my husband was able to realise
his mistake and take a U-turn. It hasn’t been an easy journey I must say
but we continued to pray and helped each other on a daily basis.
Proverbs
5:3-4 (NLT) says:
The
lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than
oil. But the result is as bitter as poison, sharp as double-edged
sword.
The
lips here that ‘are as sweet as honey’, are the lips of the third party,
that person outside the marriage. The attraction may seem indescribably
wonderful, the kisses are as if one had never been kissed before, but all this is
just an illusion. For what was once sweet will soon turn bitter, it
will dry one’s spirit like a poison saps one’s strength, and will pierce
through hearts with great pain.
The
admonition is clear; it is wise to STAY AWAY from honeyed lips.
Men
and women, rejoice in the wife or husband of your youth. The Bible says that
you will find much blessing if you rejoice in her (Proverbs 5:18). Create
no room for adultery, violence, coldness, disdain, negative influence of third
parties but rather, welcome warmth, love, laughter, happiness, contentment,
positive intimacy with each other.
- Myss Lafunky
